A Life Changing Experience: Being me.
Take a breath, breathe in, breathe out, repeat. Through your mouth. Open up your body. This is the key. Stay connected. Find peace.
My heart is open, I am vulnerable. I see the world in a new light. There is so much beauty it makes my heart hurt. I cry at the sight of my husband, my kids, my family. I am open, really open, for the first time in a long time. I see the birds now, I hear their song. I feel the wind, the sun, the trees crunching; that love is all around us.
This weekend has changed me. It has brought me back to the truth about me. It has brought me home. I can't explain my weekend to you, the activities are meaningless. The lessons however were so powerful.
What motivates you to do what you do? One of my biggest lessons was about 'time' this weekend. I figured out I am constantly rushing to have the next fix. Where to next? What needs to get done? What to eat? Who needs me? Rush, rush rush. Leaving no room for peace. My life was a list of to dos, with no satisfaction in the present moment. No pride or love was being offered in these tasks, I couldn't give myself a break.
In those moments of "chaos" in the list of to dos that for me would drive me crazy, leave me feeling anxious, angry and snappy with those closest to me, what if you could STOP? What if you could stop and take a deep breath, and give yourself the permission to have peace and joy in no matter what task or external circumstance was going on?
Sounds like a nice idea, and I had heard it plenty of times. But for some reason, when the distractions were removed this weekend, and I was really able to push to the edge of my own beliefs I was able to find another way. A peaceful way, a way to create space to be kind to myself. Instead of getting mad and projecting out to the world, playing a victim, I owned it and I found another way.
I can't tell you how much of an impact that has already had on my life. I feel peace, a deep sense of peace that I can't explain. I look at my kids and my to do's and I can just BE with it all. And if I feel the panic start to creep in... I BREATHE... a big deep mouth breath that brings me back home.
As a little person I felt scared a lot of the time. I didn't like doing new things, I hated leaving the house, I remember my first day of kindergarten watching my mom in the parking lot and screaming bloody murder because I didn't want her to go, I was terrified.
And I remember feeling it was wrong to be so afraid. I wanted to not be brave but I didn't know how. So things happened that I didn't like and I felt like a victim, I felt like I needed rescuing. Like I had to fit in because it was terrifying to be seen.
A part of that has stayed with me, don't get me wrong I have grown leaps and bounds with my personal development. But there is still this little girl inside of me wanting to be rescued, wanting to fit in for fear of being rejected.
Well guess what... I am a grown ass woman, I am FULL of huge emotions!! I cry big, I love big, I am super happy some days and a freaking mess others. And I finally understand that it is okay to be me.
Breath Integration has created a safe place for me to stop stuffing down the real me and let it all out. How huge the realization: I was stuffing ME down!! I felt like I had to fit in to feel loved, when the truth is we are loved no matter what.
And guess where that love comes from? Not out there, not from a new trip, or new car, new rank, more money, new clothes. It comes from within us. And I had heard of that and thought it sounded like a good "idea" but I didn't quite GET IT till this weekend. And don't get me wrong the stuff has a function, there is joy in getting "things" but for me it was fleeting.
A Method that Works:
All the personal development I have done, the books I have read, the webinars, the classes, nothing has brought me more clarity and peace than this weekend of Excellence with Breath Integration.
I wish I could explain it to you all in a more concrete way, but that is the beauty of the method. And my journey on this spiritual growth is mine and mine alone.
I wish I could tell you everything you would receive in doing this work but that is not up to me. It is up to you!
The hidden blocks, hurts, and pains are all yours to discover; waiting below the surface for you to bring to the present, work through and release.
As I sit here writing these words my hope for you is that you listen to your body, listen to your heart. There is such an incredible feeling of peace and connection for you if you allow you heart to open. There are lots of tools you can implement to get you there and mine was through this centre. It started with one step toward doing a Breath session and flowed to these trainings.
This leads me to opening my heart one more time, it declaring to the universe that I am open to accepting Breath clients. As I embark on this new journey of supporting people through this method I am feeling vulnerable and very grateful. Seeing my transformation and those around me using this method inspires me to facilitate its growth. So if you hear a calling to explore this method, let's chat.
In closing this thing, I want to say that I will be forever grateful for Breath Integration, for Lynn Aylward, Cory Earlandson and Susan Hewins. For my two fellow practitioners who are on this journey along side me, for anyone who has done this work before me and will follow in our footsteps, thank you.
Life is such a precious gift to have it be wasted on dimming your light. Let it shine, let you be you, find a place, person, thing that makes you feel safe to be you. You are whole, you are complete, you are perfect just as you are.