What do you Value? Uncovering What is Really Important.
Values... Have you ever thought about that, what you value? Well since the start of 2018 I have had some clarity around this word. Here is the story...
So it turns out its been awhile since the last blog post. How's your start to 2018? Have you stuck to those New Years Resolutions? Did you even make any? If you did make some and you aren't sticking to them, how are you feeling about that?
Well this brings me to why I have been MIA. I set big exciting 2018 goals. We came into the new year with an incredible event in my company that got everyone fired up. I could feel the shift in energy, I was PUMPED!!! On top of the energy, my company put out some incredible promotions and incentives to help us reach these goals. Awesome right?! Well yes in some ways but maybe not others as I figured out last week.
So here I am working diligently toward my goals, tracking my progress, doing all the right things, and it didn't appear to be getting me closer to these 'things' I was wanting. What the heck? My impatience started in, why not me?
I started comparing to others around me that were acquiring the sweet promotions, getting on the trip. Comparing, can just be the WORST thing ever!!!! I know this, through all my personal development this has been one of my greatest lessons. Looking at others from the outside and trying to compare then to you and what you are going through is a big fat waste of time and energy!
I know that each of us is on our own journey, that comparison comes from the ego, a place of separation and disconnect, of fear and lack. So I do my best to realize when I am going to this place to catch myself and go instead to a place of love, "If they can do it so can I!" Having an outlook of abundance and possibilities allows me to focus on what really matters.
Sounds nice in theory, but wait a second... what really matters? This was the part that was unclear. Where was my motivation coming from, what was at the core?
I kept having this feeling like I was on a hamster wheel chasing a goal down and not making any progress. Do you ever feel this way? That life starts to get difficult? Well this was me, last week. It ended up with my 3 year old having a HUGE meltdown, screaming, kicking, hitting; and me crying in the bathroom wondering how the heck I got there. I knew it was something inside of me that had snapped, yes my toddler has tough days where he tests my nerves, but if he can set me off to the point that I am a ball on the floor I KNEW something was going on with ME!
I booked a breath session. For those of you who don't know what that is here is their website: http://www.breathintegrationkamloops.ca/.
These sessions help me to declutter the junk that has been piling up and get clear. I flat out asked Lynn my practitioner, "I am doing all the right things and I still haven't got the camera, or trip!!" Her reply, "You realize those are all external things, that you are measuring your value exclusively on things outside of yourself?"
BAM!!!! Holy cow it hit me like a ton of bricks!! I have read tons about this, I know this concept, but to hear to plain as day that I was doing it, I was sooo smack dab in the middle of wanting and needing all this stuff to validate myself. Gahhhhh I could cry right now thinking of it.
Our value comes from within ourselves, I was searching for it all outside of myself. All the stuff is temporary, that quick fix, that hit of happy, it is all fleeting. She then asked if I thought I was providing value in other ways, if the work I was doing was impacting people in a positive way?
I knew the answer right away. My mission is to inspire people to live up to their full potential. Does this mean accumulating lots of cool stuff? No, it might be a fun result of it, but its not the end game. I had been focused on the wrong things, I had gotten lost. But I know STUFF is not how I measure my success.
My mind flashed back to a training I had done a couple days before. I had done a visualization exercise and activity on tools to assist move you from a place of feeling defeated and stuck to moving toward achieving you biggest goal. I had shared some pretty incredible moments with people who opened up to me, who were vulnerable with me, who I had the privilege and honour of sharing my knowledge with. These are the moments that I know I am adding value on a bigger scale, I am making an impact.
Have you ever thought about what you value? Are you currently measuring your value by your bank account, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, the clothes your kids wear, how many followers you have on social media?
Or are you measuring your value on being present with your kids? When you build a fort out of old boxes, or when you brighten someone else's day with a genuine complement, or when you hug your partner a little longer and tell them you love them like you mean it, what about when you inspire one person to reach out for support, or take a risk they never thought they could take? Or what about when you take those steps to grow?
Are you paying attention to how you feel in the quiet moments, how you make those around you feel? Are you sharing love and joy, or are you so focused on those external 'things' that you are missing those moments to connect?
I got so focused on the external stuff that I was missing out on those moments. I think it is fabulous to set big goals, I think it is also just as important to know why you want to attain those big goals. If its for the instant gratification of having something; that is fleeting, but if it is for the joy, the feeling of truly making an impact, of inspiration and joy and love, then that lasts forever.
If you want to get clear on your values, I found a fun exercise that can help:
Believe in your mission, believe in yourself, believe that whatever struggles you may go through they are yours and they are for you to learn. Stay focused on what really matters, stay focused on yourself and those internal values that can only come from you taking care of yourself and being clear what really makes you you!
It feels so good to be back writing this blog. I have to believe that even if no one reads this, I know in my heart it is something so important for me. This is a part of me that is bursting to be open and to share my story. So I will not measure my success by how many likes or comments I get, but I will measure my success that I dared to write another blog and took one step forward in me being me.
Love you all,
P.s. I always love your feedback! If you know your values I would love to hear what they are, how did you figure them out? Are you aware how you create value, does it come from within?