"I'll Be There": A mom's journey back to shining bright!
What lights your soul on fire? What motivates you to jump out of bed in the morning (maybe nothing if you are someone who loves to sleep in)? What keeps you up late at night?
Well I had forgotten, well not really, but my mind (ego) had gotten so big and lofty that I had lost the connection to me, that voice that fuels me to do the things that bring me the greatest joy. Have you ever found yourself here, in a place where everything feels scary? Or maybe you are angry, testy with your kids, or snapping for no good reason at your spouse, friends, coworkers. Or maybe you are alone, depressed, sad. Or what about guilt, do you stay paralyzed in guilt, feeling like you can't move, can't do the things you want because your brain is telling you stories. Or what about feeling NOTHING at all?
Well I am here to tell you that was me, and I am sure I will go there again (human nature). But today I want to share with you how I got out, and how I am standing here today so freaking happy, excited and overjoyed at the thought of waking up, springing out of bed, and savouring each and every moment of this life!
Here is the story...
I went to Mexico a couple weeks ago, the trip was absolutely fantastic!! It was an upleveling in my belief in my network marketing company, our leadership, our future. But there was this tiny part of me that felt like I didn't deserve to be there. This was the first trip since I joined the company that I didn't earn it, I was brought as a guest. And although I was SOOOO grateful to have been a guest, it triggered my "not enough" button. Anyone else have that button?
I came home from that trip so fired up to explode my business that I dove head first into the activity! A couple weeks in I felt like I was spinning my wheels, like I wasn't making the progress I wanted. Enter frustration (and red angry emoji guy). I shoved it down and kept going.
So many people around me where succeeding, blowing up their businesses, having what I wanted, why wasn't I getting ahead?! I had put everything else on hold so that I could focus on my business. I even told my good friend that I had no other time for anything else. She, who does the biz alongside me, called me on it, "You think you don't have time but what are you actually doing?". It was sooo true. I wasn't being intentional with my business. I was mostly in my head!!!
I found myself doing the stuff mentioned above: snapping, not wanting to get up in the morning, feeling tired all the time. I know when I am doing that stuff that I have sooo many tools to help me snap out of it. Thanks to Breath Integration and Nerium's belief in personal development I have built a huge toolkit of resources.
But none of those things were working for me, or at least not for very long. Then she wrote me, Lynn my breath practitioner wrote and said "Breath session sweets". My answer was "Yes!" I knew it was the answer I had been looking for.
So I set the appointment up, often times I would convince myself that I didn't have the time, or money or should be doing something else but this time I knew it was so important.
I went, and I started telling her what was bothering me... She said "You want it all", I replied, "Well yes but I know I can't have it all." She said, "Why not?"
Why not!?!?!?! Why not!?!??!?! I knew my ego had such a hold on me that it wasn't allowing me to realize that I can have it all, and so can you!! I can be an amazing mom, a successful network marketer, a blogger, a creator, a loving wife. The truth about us is that anything is possible, that we were put here to shine, to enjoy life, to be big and bold and beautiful!!
In the breath session portion of our consult, I saw myself shinning bright, I saw all the colours glowing spinning around me. I saw travel, and fun. I saw dancing and laughing and love. I saw flow and freedom and possibilities. It was all there for me, it was all bigger and grander than I could have ever imagined.
I came out of that breath session feeling like a million dollars, feeling connected, alive, grateful, vibrant! I am still reeling from that session. I know there is great potential in me and its my purpose to shine and step into that potential to show others that they can do it too.
(Me after the session, I started the video not singing then thought, "Why the heck not!!" let it all out!!)
I believe the reason I wasn't getting what I wanted was because I was doing it to prove something or to fill a void in me saying I wasn't enough. I was not allowing my motivation to come from my purpose. I was doing all this activity because my ego had a chip on its shoulder and wanted to hang on to that "You are not enough, push harder, make it work now!" to convince me there was something to prove.
This belief that I need to push hard, that making money, having fulfilment, creating value has to be a struggle is just not true for me anymore. I also found a new Audible last week called, "Light is the New Black" by Rebecca Campbell (highly recommend) it talks all about tapping into your intuition to your soul's purpose to fuel your light and shine bright.
I think that when you are listening to your intuition, when you are connected, grounded and present, that things flow easily. That this is an abundant universe and everything that we want is already there for us, if we allow.
So if you are struggling, take a moment today to stop and breathe. Breathe into that place, and if you can, just notice it, then do your best to let it go! Then do something that makes you feel so good inside that you can't help but smile and radiate light and love! Look at the above list for some inspiration, and if you know what lights you up I would love to hear what it is. Maybe you can inspire someone else to find their light!
Also highly recommend doing Breath work through Breath Integration Counselling and Training Centre. They can also do sessions via Skype for those of you not local to Kamloops!
(Dance parties with my kids are my fave!!)
In closing, I want you to know that you are beautiful, radiant, strong, brave, capable! That you don't have to hide, you don't have to be alone. Those thoughts that are not serving you can be changed, can be erased and replaced with those that empower you to be the best version of yourself. So go out, have some fun, and be the best version of yourself you were put on this Earth to be!!
If you liked something here and want to continue to hear about my journey subscribe below, or add me on social media, I have so much fun on Instagram stories!