Never Enough TIME? Five Tips to Ditch the Mom Guilt and Have More FUN!
This story starts a few weeks back when I was listening to my Audible "The Big Leap". I listen to a lot of personal development, it helps me to stay out of my head, and as a BUSY mom I find it easier to plug in headphones rather than sitting down and picking up a book.
The author brought up a hugely impactful incite about time. Who out there finds themselves running around, picking up toys, cleaning dishes, doing endless laundry, making food, buying groceries, just to find that when you think you are done and get a break, you turn around and do it ALL OVER AGAIN!!! It feels like a rat race leaving you exhausted at the end of the day.
And another thing, when we go pick up the toys, are we doing it from a place of LOVE? Or are we doing it from a place of GUILT? A place of "I can never do enough" "I can't catch up". I know personally I am a GUILT junky!! Its my go to emotion.
People say, "this is just a phase, it gets easier..." But the truth is, I want to enjoy NOW!! I want to find a way to not just survive these years, but to cherish and enjoy these years within all the chaos.
Hendricks book offers some valuable incites about the concept of time, specifically Newton time vs. Einstein time! The gist...
Newton Time: (NO CONTROL)
Most of us see time as if it is outside of ourselves, that we don't control it, that we are a victim to it. Who of you find yourself saying "I don't have time for that" "If I just had a few more minutes" "If only there were more hours in the day?"
In the book Hendricks says that Newton's theory “assumes that there is a scarcity of time, which leads to an uncomfortable feeling of time urgency. We think that what is ‘out there’ is causing the feelings ‘in here’.
Einstein Time: (FULL CONTROL)
Hendricks explains this theory of relativity as “YOU are where time comes from-you can make as much of it as you want!”.
He used the example: If you child runs up to you and says "mommy will you play ball with me?" you might say "No, I don't have time to do that right now, maybe later"
But... If you child runs up to you and says "mommy I cut my hand open!" you drop everything and tend to your child and you have all the time in the world!
Its a matter of what you choose to do, what is important. When we play the victim then there is always a lack. When we can take control and decide to do what we WANT to do based from a place of LOVE, I believe we can start to live in ABUNDANCE!
So, how do you start taking back control and eliminating mom guilt?
Start becoming conscious, listen to when you are playing the victim, when you are using the excuse of time to hide the fact that maybe you just really do not want to play ball with your son at this very moment. Its OKAY to say no! This is a skill that takes practice, but necessary for your sanity!
Take your power back and stop using TIME as an excuse.
2. Check in with your emotions:
This little chart to the left is something that has been very handy for me over the years. It explains the five main emotions and how they feel in your body (provided through Breath Integration Counselling and Training Centre). Once you identify the emotion you can work through it vs. shutting it away. Try as often as you can to ask "Is this the most loving thing I can do for myself?".
If you would like a pdf version of this chart please contact me! I have them all over my house as a reminder!
Take a breath, when you are feeling anxious, uncomfortable, or edgy. Ground yourself and ask, "Is this important?" "Why am I rushing?". Try saying the mantra "I am the source of time" "there is more than enough time".
I love this video from Headspace:
4. Take inventory:
What is important to you? List the activities you need to do to move yourself towards your goals. Every day look at that list, and when you have 5 min here or there do those activities. Don't scroll Facebook or Instagram (my guilty pleasures), get the important stuff done first!
5. Take some time for YOU!!
Do something every day just for you. Maybe its 5 minutes in the morning before the kids wake up to just have a coffee in silence. Maybe its starting a morning routine to fill yourself up. Maybe its exercise, or a walk, or just asking for help! Give yourself a break, we are all just doing our best. I also repeat the mantra, "I AM NOT GUILTY".
Even though I read and listen to TONS of motivational information it take TIME and PRACTICE to make a lasting change. So acknowledge yourself for what you do get accomplished!
Thank you for reading! Hope these tips were helpful.
I am also looking more into this sense of urgency and how we actually create that feeling inside of us because its an addiction!! Stay tuned...